Too Long

I’ve missed writing this blog. Missed having a place to gather my thoughts. I truly believed that I would begin again last spring, but in May, after G’s surgery, we learned that my MIL wasn’t given long to live (surprise, she’s outlived their timeline by quite a bit), and my focus turned to that. In June we made an emergency trip back to the States so that she could meet the twins and we could say our goodbyes. And after….we were both an emotional wreck. After some scary moments for me, I began seeing a therapist for a short time who said that the biggest thing he noticed was that I was perfectionistic and that I didn’t know how to prioritize things in my life. Basically what I already knew. But he also gave me to the tools to begin to be what he called a “good enough mom” and to really make time for me and what I cared the most about. And since the holidays are over and it’s a clean slate, here I am.

To be honest I feel like I blinked and went from just G and I to suddenly 3 little (very BIG personality) ones. Eleanor turned 5 in November and I just felt so overwhelmed with how quickly that happened. The Twinkles turn 2 in a couple months. TWO. Every time I wonder why I haven’t written anything in forever I realize it’s because the days are so long, but these years are flying by. But I really want to slow things down and find my way back to writing regularly and with purpose.

I always make goals for the new year. Goals sound so much more manageable than “resolutions.” And I also choose a few words to represent what I want to focus on. This year the words are: simplify, intentional, perseverance. I want to simplify our food choices, our errand running, our evenings in. I want to be intentional with my time, money, and living my own truth. And I want to maintain perseverance as we find our way back from “survival mode” to “living well.”

I am sure this year will be an interesting one, and I’m glad to have this space to ruminate and hold myself accountable. For those who have stuck around though my crazy long absences, thank you. I’m very happy to say that I’ve worked out a schedule where this should be regularly updated. So, feel free to grab a mug of tea and stay a while.

Comments

  1. I’m so happy you’re back.

    Ugh, perfectionism holds me back, makes me procrastinate, too. I’m trying multiple ways to get back into blogging regularly myself. Maybe my next posts will be considered authentic. Authentic is good. Really good. Maybe I should choose words and that should be one of them…

    Anyway, I wish you the most wonderful year!

  2. Hi Kate, I have been reading your blog since the first time you were in England, so you can imagine how amazed I am that Nora is 5 already! I’m sorry to hear about your mother-in-law. I hope that writing the blog again will help you to find your sense of self again – good luck!

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